Monday, November 24, 2008

Have a little faith in...Him

I love this song. It was the first dance of a best friend, Carrie, at her wedding. I used it on a video for my "little sister", Cindy's, wedding video. I love it...I never get tired of hearing it and I've heard it a lot because I have it downloaded on my car's hard drive.
A couple of weeks ago, on the forever long drive up the parkway to my house- I was having one of many daily conversations with God...just handing some things over to Him that were weighing on my heart and mind. Then, this song came on. And as many times as I've heard it in the past, it was the first time that I heard God speaking to me through it.
I heard it as if He was reminding me to have faith that He will handle all things that I give Him. When I played it for Scott and told him to view it in the same way, he was acutally impressed (he NEVER listens to lyrics) and said, "are you sure John Hiatt didn't mean for it to be written to sound like it is God speaking to us?" I don't think so, but you never know.
I especially love the last verse:
Well, Ive been loving you for such a long time girl
Expecting nothing in return
Just for you to have a little faith in me
You see time, time is our friend
cause for us there is no end
And all you gotta do is have a little faith in me
I said I will hold you up, I will hold you up
Your love gives me strength enough
So have a little faith in me

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Tag, You're It!!

My friend Megan (who I have known FOREVER from Gadsden- her whole sweet family) tagged me in her blog, so I'm actually going on with the game...

Pick the 4th picture folder on your computer

Pick the 4th picture in that folder

Explain what the picture is about

Tag 4 blogging friends to do the same

This picture is of Hill with, as he calls her, "Rina" awesome little cousin. Her parents, along with our entire family and their friends, prayed for Karina way before we ever met her or knew her. Her Mom and Dad went to the Ukraine to follow God's plan in their hearts for adoption and He led them to this incredible girl. She has now been with our family for about 4 years, but it feels like we have known her a lifetime. She will do amazing things in her life because she knows and loves the Lord with all of her heart...and we love her with all of ours!!

Okay- I now tag Lauren B, Jessica, Amy D., and Corey (this will help you get used to the blogging world Corey)!

Thursday, November 6, 2008


My friend Lauren had this video of John Piper on her blog (putting us in our place- to a degree) in reference to the elections and worrying about the outcome. It's just what I needed to hear...thanks Lauren.

Monday, November 3, 2008

On a lighter note...

WHAT a fun Halloween week we had!!! It totally made up for Rett and I missing it last year. We had a great neighborhood Halloween parade, and an entire week of Fall fun...enjoy the pictures

Where Did the Time Go...

It seems like daily I have friends and family say to me, "can you believe Rett is one, now??" and I know how they feel, it seems like all of their children are growing up entirely too fast in front of my eyes. But, this last year, the first year of Rett's life was also the hardest year of my life...and therefor, one of the longest.
To some degree it is easy for me to open up about things and for those that know me, I'm pretty much an open book- but my deepest emotions are usually buried deep within and I couldn't dig them out if I tried. I did not tell many people, but I suffered with postpartum depression after Rett was born. I can't even describe the fog that I was living in- but if you have been there, you understand. I remember my sweet little cousin (sister) Cindy telling me a long time ago after seeing Brooke Shields on Oprah, "IF you EVER have postpartum, you TELL me." and I though, if I did I would...but I didn't, until after I was better. You don't want to talk to don't want to do just want to sit, or sleep. The one person that I was able to reach out to, probably more on a personal level than I ever had in my life...was my Dad. He never got "wishy washy" with me (or anybody for that matter) but he knew that postpartum was real and that if I was going to get better, I needed to be on medicine. He reasoned with me. He called me twenty times a day to check on me (which he would not normally do). He helped me out of my fog...we were closer than we had been in a long time through that period.
It was a wake up call when my best friend (she also didn't know about my depression prior- I feel like the Lord knew I needed to hear what she told me) called one day to tell me a tragic story of a precious girl in Birmingham whose husband was a resident at a hospital here...she, too, was suffering with postpartum and had a son almost the same age as Rett. While her husband was at work, she left a note, shot her son and then herself in her back yard. As absolutely horrifying as it was to even hear that story or think about, I know that it was not premeditated- she wanted that baby as much as I wanted partum depression is a terrible and REAL illness that makes you do things you could never imagine...I knew that I had to get mine under control.
In the midst of all of this, Rett was in Children's Hospital for a week when he was just a couple of weeks old- I hated leaving Hill for the first time for that long, his world had been turned upside down. Rett had to have a spinal tap and so many procedures done to his little tiny body...I felt like my heart wouldn't make it through all of it. I know that I didn't truly know what a "heartache" felt like until you see your child hurts more than any other physical pain ever could.
So, when Rett got better...Dad got worse...he only saw Rett one time in September, about a week after he was born. Right after that Thanksgiving, Dad started his three months in the hospital.
Every time I talk about the last holidays, people catch me and say, "no val, that was the year before last". It so weird, but it's like I almost have amnesia from last year. It breaks my heart that I probably won't remember a lot from my sweet baby boy's first year, that when I think about that year, I think about a lot of "heartache"...but every day that I see his face, and HOW MUCH he looks like my dad, it makes my heart glad. Rett has had more illnesses in his short life than any one year old should have, but I thank God daily for my sweet, healthy, baby boy.

Here are some things about him right now that I love:
- He is a mess, and knows it, he has quickly learned to use his dimples and grin to his advantage.
- He is into everything!! I hate to say that we never used child locks with Hill, we didn't have to- with Rett, I don't think they make enough locks for our house.
- He loves to snuggle and he will lay that little head down on your shoulder and melt anybodies heart.
-He absolutely worships his big brother...Hill makes him laugh like nobody else can.
-He is hysterical- he can make us laugh like nobody else can...I have a feeling he is going to be our family clown.

I know that this last year has made me a better mom, daughter, friend, and wife (I hope). Although it was the hardest year of my life, I do, really believe, in the saying "what doesn't kill you will make you stronger"...and it has. It greatly strengthened my personal relationship with my Father, I prayed harder and longer than I ever had in tears and in this, I thank Him for loving me, for welcoming my Dad into His heavenly home,and for bringing me out of "the fog".